FEELINGS … OFFENDED, NOW WHAT?
2 TIM 4:14-18
C.S. LEWIS, “EVERYONE SAYS FORGIVENESS IS A GOOD IDEA, UNTIL THEY HAVE SOMETHING TO FORGIVE. IN OTHER WORDS THE DIFFICULTY DOESN’T REALLY COME OUT UNTIL WE HAVE FELT THE STING OF BEING SINNED AGAINST. IT IS ONE THING TO TALK ABOUT FORGIVENESS, IT IS ANOTHER TO GIVE IT TO SOMEONE WHO HAS SLANDERED YOU, LAID YOU OFF, DISRESPECTED YOU, OR IGNORED YOU OR MUCH WORSE. IT IS ONE THING TO GIVE LIP SERVICE TO FORGIVENESS, BUT IT IS ANOTHER TO GIVE IT TO SOMEONE WHO HAS ABUSED YOU, BEATEN YOU, CHEATED ETC… SOMEONE SAID, ‘FORGIVENESS IS A HERCULEAN TASK’ I SAY, IT’S A GOD SIZED TASK …
YET, IN A WORLD OF BROKEN PEOPLE – WE NEED IT IF WE ARE GOING TO HAVE ANY RELATIONSHIP WITH OTHERS, REAL AND SINFUL AS WE ARE … NOT A QUESTION OF “IF” WE ARE OFFENDED, BUT “WHEN.”
DEFINITION OF FORGIVENESS:
FORGIVENESS, GIVING UP RESENTMENT AGAINST SOMEONE, ALONG WITH YOUR RIGHT TO GET EVEN, NOT MATTER WHAT HAS BEEN DONE TO YOU.
UNFORGIVENESS, THE DELIBERATE, WILLFUL REFUSAL TO GIVE UP ONE’S RESENTMENT AND RIGHT TO GET EVEN, BASED ON THE ATTITUDE THAT SOMEONE MUST PAY FOR THE WRONG DONE.
3 WORDS FOR FORGIVENESS:
TO CARRY OR SEND AWAY
TO GIFT – GIFTING SOMEONE WHO MAY NOT DESERVE IT
TO LOOSE OR FREE
BACKSTORY: PAUL/TIMOTHY, EPH 4:26-32
BEGIN THE HEALING:
RECOGNIZE THE PAIN/HURT,
IS THE OFFENSE SIGNIFICANT ENOUGH TO WARRANT FORGIVENESS OR IS IT ABOUT SOMETHING ELSE …
PROVERBS 19:11
IF IT IS SIGNIFICANT ACKNOWLEDGE IT …
RELEASE THE RIGHT TO GET EVEN,
2 TIM 2:14b
I PUT MYSELF IN GOD’S PLACE, ROMANS 12:19
TIM KELLER GIVES SOME EXAMPLES OF WAYS WE CAN EXACT AND TAKE PAYMENT FROM THE OFFENDER:
1.) WE CAN MAKE CUTTING REMARKS AND DRAG OUT THE PAST.
2.) WE CAN BE FAR MORE DEMANDING AND CONTROLLING WITH THE PERSON THAN WHEN WE ARE WITH OTHERS ALL BECAUSE THEY, “OWE US”
3.) WE CAN PUNISH WITH SELF-RIGHTEOUS “MERCY” WHICH MAKES THEM FEEL SMALL.
4.) WE CAN AVOID THEM, BE COLD TO THEM IN OVERTLY SUBTLE WAYS.
5.) WE CAN ACTIVELY SEEK AND SCHEME TO HURT OR HARM THEM, TAKING FROM THEM SOMETHING VALUABLE TO THEM.
REGULATE DON’T RETALIATE, 4:15,16
(BOUNDARIES)
BE MENTALLY ALERT,
BE SOCIALLY AWARE,
JOHN 1;19-23
BE SPIRITUALLY ANCHORED,
LUKE 6:27-28
REJOICE IN YOUR REDEEMER
4:17-18,
OUR ADVOCATE,
OUR AMEN,
APPLICATION:
